This morning I got a taste of hard emotions, but I handled them well. I woke up about ten to 6am, I thought I set the clock for four thity am, but it was set for pm. I grabbed a cab right away, threw Jimmy his food. He didn't know what the hell was going on. When I got there I started everything without changing, the chef came in and kinda laughed, told me I had to change first. I felt like telling him, "Why don't you go fuck yourself." I was trying to get everything so it would be on time, and here he was telling me things that seemed to me just slowing me down. Anyway, I kept my mouth shut and did what I was told. I'm glad for that. I know acting on stressed emotions isn't good, so I kept cool, but it was in my mind. I got everything on time, so it was alright. There was no problems, but reminded me of how I acted before. I was bad. I'm really getting good with emotions and thinking, but this just tells me you need to be on guard all the time, especially when you get frazled and worked up. I don't like starting my day like that at all. Doesn't give me time to gather my thoughts or myself, but I do feel I'm accomplishing things and progressing in recovery. I have people that I talk to, but I find that it's mostly me that is doing the work, and seeking the things I need. That book I'm reacing, "The Tao and sobriety," has really helped a lot. I don't let my thoughts get bogged down with negativity. I can realize when my thoughts are wrong, and dismiss them as things I choose not to do. This book teaches that we need to acknowledge and accept our negative thoughts and voices, instead of fighting them. I can't control my thoughts, but I can choose to see it as a negative thing that wants to hurt me, or I can decide to go with the voice inside that says and knows the right things. I really find it a great way to go. I can laugh at my foolish thoughts that want to cause trouble, and I'm finding that the voice I'm choosing to be my manager is actually very good. I don't entertain foolish thoughts. I choose to listen to this sensible part of me that actually is pretty smart, and knows right from wrong. It's always been there, but I always got overcome in the past by beleiving I couldn't control the negative things that seemed to overcome me. This is really a great feeling. I'm sure that God has everything to do with it, and my decision to choose a life with him. I keep the things I know that God says, and anything thats contrary to that is just wrong. When I follow and live Gods ways, things go well. Not the way I want, but then all I really want is to have a life with peace. I kinda gave up on things I thought I wanted. If good things happen, that's a bonus, but I also realize that life has it's ups and downs, and we need to accept those downs too. There's hurts in life, but there can be happiness and good things that seem to come like surprises, from living right, and doing what's right. Like Forest Gump says, "Life is like a box of choclates, " You never know what your going to get. I find that way really neat. Makes me feel like a little kid. Everyday I wonder what surprises God has for me. Almost like getting presents. I love you God, and I thank you for all you do. Amen.