Well, things have been going alright. I have all my bills paid, and actually I'm paying an extra two hundred on my rent for next month so I'll be ahead. I talked to Tim recently about things, but I can see he's still doing stuff. All he is is a person thats staying here for now. I think when he goes to pay next time I'm going to tell him to keep his money and find a place. I don't like what I know he's into, and I don't want it around me. I don't like hearing the lies and stuff. It does make me think tho how I affected people with my lieing. I can't change what I did in the past, but it's just not a good feeling knowing that stuff is going on here. I've been doing really good I think, and I just don't want the negativity of the whole thing. I started going to Celebrate Recovery again. It was so nice, but it goes a little late. I felt pretty tired this morning, but I loved all I heard. I met a few people that I know from other groups. That was nice. This group felt so much differant from regular groups. It felt a lot more honest and sincere. I find I really don't get a lot out of the A.A. and C.A. groups that I've been going to. Most times I see a lot of stuff that tells me that people are just playing. I hear the same old hum drum topics that really don't mean a thing to me. Gratitude, surender, and stuff like that. I do try to be open minded, but it's like people always come up with stuff they hear in meeting all the time. I need something that's real, and has substance. I was sitting in a meeting last week and I heard all these people going up and telling how they can always get a hug or hello when they come to the meeting. I was sitting with about eight people long before the meeting started and no one even said hello. Even in A.A. around here, I never see people greeting anyone, or welcoming them. They say hi to their freinds, but that's about it. I talked to Dillon about it. Her knew what I meant. Anyway, I had a lot of people say hello last night, and they shook my hand, and that was really nice. I get some at church too. So I think I'm happy with the direction things seem to be going. I still have my A.A. meeting on Tuesday that I like. That group is a lttle differant, and more freindly. My emotions and things seem to be settling down a lot. I'm happy for that. It's helping a lot at work. I'm starting to have fun with the people there, and joking around, in nice ways. I like going to work now and having people respect me. That is really a good feeling. The chef and I get along good. I talk openly about things, and he's good about it. He knows that I'm trying to get my shit together, and he doesn't seem to say anything but good about it, and it doesn't seem phoney or anything. He deoes his job, and I give him all the respect that I can, aqnd he gives me it too. That's a good thing. The manager is nice too. She knows a little, but not much. I really don't care how people think of me for my past. I care more about how I am today, and today I'm trying. I do have one thing bugging me today. I had this freind on this site that I got to careing for a lot. I got to phoning her and things and I think I got quit caught up in her situations, and I really wanted to help in anyway I could, but last night I phoned like I usually do, but she seemed to be playing games. Got somebody to say she was sleeping, when I could hear them laughing in the background. I don't like that kind of thing at all. Makes me feel like they just use me or something. Anyway, I'm backing off that one. I've been a little busy with things, and haven't been journaling as much. I think sometimes I'm spending a little too much time on the computer, and with that other person, so I'm just going to do it when time permits. A lady called me last night too, and wants to have a date. I felt so good having someone ask me for that. I really don't know much about her, except she lives in Kitchener, she's seperated, has three children, and she's fifty. I don't care really for anything sexual, but I do want to have freinds that I can go out with. I did admire her honesty, and the way she asked me. It told me that she was sincere, and I like that. We might go out this weekend. Mayby for coffee or dinner and a movie. I think that would be really nice for a change. Mayby we can go bowling. That would be fun. I haven't done that in years. Comes at a good time tho when I seem to be getting on my feet. I'm not looking to jump into any relationship, but who knows. If things go good, then it's good, but I'm giving it time. I know that if I do decide to be involved with someone, I go all the way, so I'm taking my time. Who knows. Might not even be anything but a date anyway. It's still nice, and fun. I like this.