Things are going very well. Been a little bust at work preparing for the Christmas dinner at work. Been doing a little overtime, but not too much. Only an hour or two after work, so I'm not worn out or anything. Tomorow I have to get up at three in the morning to start at 4am. It's early, but not too bad. I like starting the day early anyway. i'm getting along very well with the chef there. We got talking a bit today. He said he likes me, and the work I do. That was very nice to hear. I have been giving him my full respect and cooperation. In this place I find it very easy. The chef is very well organized and disciplined, but he's also a good person that likes to joke a little. I really do respect him. He knows some of my past, not too much. I don't need to be an open book, but I have been honest about my drinking past. I find that I need to. Pretty hard to hide thirty years of drinking. It's been such a big part of my life, and at times when we conversate it's just imposible not to have to mention some things. I do need to be honest, but I do be careful about just blabbing everything. I have learned from the past that you don't need to advertise your addictions, but any type of relationship, profesional, or personal, requires some honesty to a certain point. I was very happy when he told me he likes my work. I'm finding that I am really enjoying working at this place. It seems to suit me just fine. The pay is good, the people are good, it's very close to home, I get along with the people, and they respect me. It really is a very good fresh new start that I don't want to mess up. I don't think that I want to be a chef anymore. I've done it before, but now I see that the stress of it was a big part of my drinking. I don't have any desire to go back to it. I like what I'm doing now, and I feel very good with that. When I leave work I can leave it behind and not worry about it. That's very important to me, and I love that. In the past it seemed so important to have the status, and  I always had fear about living up to what I thought was the expectations of everything, but I mostly created all those expectations. I felt I had to be perfect, and the fear of making any mistakes mostly ran me and my life. I don't need to do that now, and I am perfectly happy with that. I'm also alright about the situation with Tim. I know it's his problem, and I think I have handled things in a good way. I never said anything to him about it. I'm sure he doesn't want to talk about it, and bringing it up wouldn't be apropriate, or necessary. I've taken his privleges off the computer, so I'm sure he knows that I know what he's been doing on it. He hasn't said anything, or complained so I think he knows. He's probably too embaressed to ask why. He can live here and do what he wants, but if things like this arise I will do what is best for me. I'm finding that I need to look after me for a change. Too many times in the past I put others before myself, only to get disapointed because I set expectations on how I think the outcome should be. I find that looking after me first is really important, and necessary for me. When I do that, I find that there is little, or no disapointment. Take care of myself first and the rest seems to take care of itself. This is a new thing for me, and I am enjoying the results very much. It seems to make things so much easier, and that's nice. So Christmas is aproaching. Usually in the past this has been a very hard time for me, and drinking didn't help at all. It only made it so much worse. Drinking causes depression. At this time I would think back to the good times that I had with my family growing up. I would try so hard to get that back, but I'm realizing that I need to let the past go. Sure those times were good. I'm glad that I got to experiance them, but it's the past. Things have changed, and today is a differant day. I need to accept that, and do the best I can for now. I have been doing that, and I do feel good. I'm not depressed about not being able to see my kids. I know that they are well cared for, and they have their lives to live, the same as me. I can't change the past, but I can try to make today, or tomorow better. I am looking foreward to Christmas, and making the best of it. It makes me happy to see others going about getting stuff, and making their plans. Used to bug me a lot because I would get into that, "Poor me. " Wishing I could have what others seemed to have. I have a lot when I look around me. I have Jimmy to care for, and that is a very good thing. Mayby I'll even buy a turkey for me and him. I really would be happy doing that, and I know he would to. Life is very good. Mayby all the dreams I had before didn't work out the way I would have liked them to, but there's so much good things right now. I am very grateful for everything that I have. Each day when I go to work, I pass the House of Freindship. I remember the times I stayed there. I see the people there, and I'm glad that God has given me this new start. Life is very good. Today I'm able to be a good person that can hold my head up, and look at others In the eye, and know that I'm no better or worse. I feel that I am on the same level as other people, and not below them. That's a wonderful realization. Thank you so much, Lord. Thank you.