Went for a nap earlier, actually it was more to avoid Tim. I'm not sure if I'm angry or what, but after I came back from Dillon, I didn't seem to want to talk with Tim. I know the stuff he does is stuff I have done, but the lack of seeming to want to do anything about it kinda bothers me. It's not really my bussiness, and I'm not making it an issue. Mayby I'm just bored silly, again. Going through these first stages again. It's cold and snowing out, so I don't feel like going anywhere. I haven't got money until Wednesday, so that's playing a little on me. I tried taking a nap. Seemed to fall into a semi consciouse sleep. I was thinking before about what Dillon and I were talking about. About my Mom. I started to cry when I thought about what Dillon asked me. He asked me what would I say to my Mom if she were here now and was going to leave and not come back. Even writting this I'm crying, trying not to let Tim know. When I was trying to sleep I tried talking to my Mom. I tried thinking of times when I was younger. It's so hurtful. I miss her so much. I got up later and Tim was in the washroom. I went in his room, and got the heater out, then I went back in. I looked at his bottle of pills, and saw some perks. I wanted to take them. Mayby this is just something I need to go through. I'm not all that sure right now. Anyway, I didn't take the pills, but I think if it was possible to get high right now, I would. I don't feel happy at all right now. Just seems like I'm in a fucked up stage with nowhere, and no one to turn to. I can call Dillon, but I can't call him for everything. I need to stand on my own too. Hopefully better days ahead. Please God, I need you.