Thank God, the week is over. Toughest week I've ever had. I'm looking foreward to seeing Dillon tonight. i'm done. Lately I've been keeping my mouth shut. I[m so tired of going in circles. Relapse, relapse, and relapses. Thats all I seem to have gotten out of trying to get sober  since I first started. I like what Dillon has to say. When he talks, I can't say anything. Most people that I've met in A.A. I always seemed to be able to talk my way back to getting fucked up, but with Dillon, I can't do that. He's too smart for me. I need that. He tells me things that I just can't say anything about. He tells me the truth. Thank God for that. He's my sponsor now. I had lots of sponsors in A.A, but I tell you, most of them were more fucked up than I was when I was fucked up. I can tell you lots of stories of the people I've met. I'm sure there are good people around, but I just never met them. I seem to always get some quack, that I eventually just say fuck it, and go on my own. I feel good now. Mayby only two days sober, because I drank to ease things up until Wednesday, and I took my last pill on Monday, but I got some fight now in me. I couldn't fight before. Those pills had me so weak and down. I couldn't do nothin, except get another pill to keep going. Even Tim here now. I feel like throwing him out. I see he's bringing porn into my place. Set up the T.V. in my room with a D.V.D. to watch porn. Peice of shit. Jerking off in my bed????? What the fuck is that ! Should make him buy me a new mattress. i was talking to him today. He says he doesn't mind to treat himself once in awhile to some drugs????????? He just got hit by a train a little while ago because of drugs, and he thinks it"s a treat????? Anyway, I won't do anything until I talk to Dillon, but I can sure afford my own when I'm not using. Fuck, it was hard enough hanging on while using. Not using, I can do a lot. Like live. Thank you God for bringing me home again. Thank you.