Well, I'm alright for the time being. I went to the Dr today and told him everything that's going on. Sorry but I just can't afford to be sick right now. I wish I could, and get through this shit, but I just can't. The rent is comming up fast, and I need to be able to function so I can get things paid. He did give me a minimum amount of pills at a very low dose, so I'm able to do stuff now. Yesterday was really too much. I can't afford to be that way right now. I don't want to drink either, but that's what I reached out for last night. I feel like I'm really in a spot. Damned if I do, and damned if I don't. At least this will give me another week to get prepared. I'm going to see if I can do without the pills for as long as I can, but if I get sick like I was yesterday, then I'll take one. The Dr said that so far I am doing better. Instead of doing 400 or more miligrams, I've gotten down to twenty. I know I have to go through it. There's no doubt about that. Just not right now. I need these two or three days to get things straight, money wise. Tim my freind is going to be staying here. He's a good guy that I've known for awhile. We talked about everything, and he knows what I'm going through. Were going to try to help each other out. We both very much want to live clean lives I know his strugles too. He's had a tough time finding a place where the enviroment is good. Mostly he ends up renting at places where people are using and drinking. I think this just might be a good thing for both of us. We have talked about rules and stuff. The only rule right now is that there is going to be no using or drinking at all. I'm going to start going back to meetings too. I've been around too many people that aren't in recovery, and it's taking it's toll on my head space. I'm finding I get angry more lately, and thinking really negative. God seems so far from me right now. I know he isn't, but it feels that way. I liked before when I was going to meetings, working at the sobriety center, and doing the things that made me feel at peace. I miss that very much. Anyway, I think this is worth a shot for the both of us. If it doesn't work, then it doesn't work, but I think it might just be what both of us need. Going to try anyway.