Today I feel tired and worn out. The roofing work is pretty hard on the body, and I guess I'm not as young as I used to be. Using a lot of muscles that I haven't used in awhile. I seen the Dr today about the tapering off thing that were doing. Down to the last stages now. I think it has been pretty good doing things this way. I've been able to keep working without any interferance. That was one of my main concerns. I haven't had to go through much discomfort really. I know there will still be a few things to go through when I'm off completly. One of them is feeling tired and weak. Even today while going there I felt very tired. Just wanted to close my eyes and sleep all the way. I guess there will be a few days of that still to come. I am pretty impressed at the way they handled it. I had never trusted telling Dr's the truth about things. I had many instances when I was younger, when I tried being honest, but it seemed like you were labled afterwards, and any time you really had any other problem, the most you could expect was aspirin. I beleive that there are times when you legitamately need medication, and you shouldn't have to go through unnecesary pain because of their fears of starting addictions again. I think it's better when you can be honest, and still be treated properly. I also talked with the Dr about feeling so run down. He mentioned about the time of year and how that affects peoples moods. I had thought the same thing. Fall and winter just don't seem to be my best times of the year. I stay in more when it's cold, and there doesn't seem to be as much sunshine. I find these things do affect me. I find I can get depressed more easily, and just plain tired. i guess there's not much you can do about that. I have been thinking about getting a membership for the Delta. I could go swimming, take a sauna, or just sit in the hot tub. I think that would help to feel a bit better.  Jenn, my freind I talk to was telling me about her sister. Aparently she was murdered by her ex husband because she was planning to divorce him. It's such a shame when you hear about those types of things. All the sadness that it brings to the lives of those that knew her, and all because of a person's inability to deal with emotions. You know we spend so many years in school in an effort to prepare us for a life afterwards. You would think that by now that society would be able to acknowledge emotions as a main factor in preperation for adulthood. Most of the crimes, and other problems that plague our community's are rooted in emotional issues. Most people, as myself included, really have no idea about what emotions are, or how to deal with them properly. When I hear things such as this, it makes me think back to my own situation with seperation, and how I and my family, could have easily become another statistic. I was no where near prepared emotionally when I was seperated from my wife and children. I remember the feelings of anger, and the unfairness of it all, and the wanting to get even and not let them do what I perceived they were doing. i remember feeling that the only answer to the whole mess would be either to inflict harm on others, or myself, or more accurately both. I think what prevented my situation from becoming another tragedy was that I was in recovery at the time, and trying to learn to do the right things. I didn't want to ever hurt anyone, but at that time I couldn't see beyond the pain. Thank God that things didn't get out of hand, and end up tragic. Lots of people like to put men down when things don't go right in a marriage. Try letting them deal with it, and see how easy it is for them to make the choices they have to. I had to literally walk away from my children and marriage. Not because I wanted to avoid responsibility, like some like to think, but because it was the best thing I could do for both me, and my family. I had to give up my rights of being a father in order to avoid the anger. Try doing that, and then call me a dead beat father, or husband, or whatever. I thank you, Lord, for the strength, love, and wisdom that you provide. I thank you for all the things that you provide when others can't. Amen