Today over all was good. Finally took care of the Rogers bill. Payed next months too, so that's good. Over the last couple of days. I have been experiencing some emotions that I didn't like much. And I know exactly, that it is a direct result of being with people that are still users. Namly Carlo's and Dan. A couple of their defects cropped up and bugged me. It just lets me know that I am doing the right thing by staying away from them. The first day seemed alright, but in the morning yesterday, Bob and I were talking a bit. He picked me up after dropping off Carlo's and Dan. I've noticed for awhile that Dan is jealous of me since I quit drinking and doing drugs, but I forget sometimes how alcoholics really are. Aparently in the morning they were talking to Bob as if they were telling something bad about me, and he should watch out. it's the old back stabbing game, but it makes me laugh. There is nothing I hide from Bob, and he knows everything about me. He said he knows there jealous too. I found it did start making me angry. If there's one thing I really hate, it's back stabbing, two faced assholes. I know there sick, and I should pray for them, and I guess I will, but this is one thing I get anoyed about. especially Carlo's. i casually mentioned something to him, just letting him know that I knew. He just kept his mouth shut. lately I was starting to think that I might envite them up for dinner, but no way. I don't need that shit around. I think it's best to keep it to casual talk and helo's. It even brought back some of the old jail house feelings about being a rat. They can't say anything about me or what I do, but they still try. They can keep their drinking and drugs, and all the stupidness that goes with it. Just reinforces that I'm not missing a damned thing. Even Willie downstairs I know is jealous too. I've overheard some comments when he was drinking with them. Kinda nice in a way, being jealous of me. Lets me know that I'm doing pretty good. Both Carlos and Dan make so much more money than I do, but they have nothing. They make about at least a hundred or two a day when they work because they do have skills that Bob pays more for. But Dan never has cigaretts, and I end up sharing mine with him. I don't mind sometimes, but this is every time. Little ol me, with my thirty or sixty dollars a day, but I am able to look after my needs. I have smokes, I have food, I look after Jimmy, and I got money in my pocket, all because of staying sober. Thank God for that. I really love the simple pleasures of staying sober. i remember all the horible shit of that life well. Having to steal food every day, because all my money was gone to drugs. I remember all the walking trying to find cigarett butts. My ugly reflection in the store windows I passed. Ahhh, stop. That's enough. Thank you so much, Lord. Anyway, the rest of the day was good. I was still trying not to be anoyed with Bob still. He can really be trying at times. I find myself almost always to explain himself properly. He says the damndest things that drive me nuts. Tells me tonight to go on the roof and take the boards off. So I go up and start. Then he's yelling, "Hey, Hey, not the wood." Then I figure out he meant the shingles. He tells me stuff like go get me a piece of wood. "I need a piece of wood." Well the whole property is full of wood from ripping most of the roof off for the past three days. " What kind of wood, Bob? What size? What are you doing with it, so I know what your talking about? the whole day goes like this. After a few hours, I'm almost swearing at him. I swear he's not all there most of the time. Last night he's driving I yelled at him twice because he went through two stop signs. Then he starts stopping on green lights. Literally stopping in the middle of the intersection. Cars beeping behind him. Then he starts going on the red, and I yell at him. By the time I get home, I almost need a drink. i do love him tho. Just so thankful that I'm not living in his head. He was a practising alcoholic too, about twenty years ago. Hate to see the mess he was. Well, that's enough bitching. I need to save some energy for tomorow. Lord, I do thank you for this life you've given me. The insights, the ability to do things, and have nice things. I thank you for all the good people I have met here on D.S.. Help me to become stronger, to have more courage to follow your ways. Allow me your wisdom, and understanding to grow in the way's that you want of me. And yes, forgive me for allowing myself to get angry at Calo's, Dan, and Bob. Help me to be more pateint, and tollerant of others, and appreciate our differances. I thank you for being there for me. Thank you. Amen