Well, today was a better day. I wasn't sick and seemed to be back to myself. Did a lot of thinking tho. Lots of questions in my mind about this thing I'm dealing with. For some reason I feel reasured that my Dr will help me through this. I have had a hard time most of my life trusting Dr's. I had a few things in my younger years that taught me it was better to keep your mouth shut about certain things. I get the feeling from talking to my Dr that things have changed. I really felt comfortable talking with him. He didn't seem to judge me, or look down on me. Actually the help he offered really surprised me. I feel very good about everything now, and I'm sure that it's going to work out well. The people on D.S. really are wonderful. I couldn't ask for a better support group. I wish it was that way in A.A. I'm sure some are, but I haven't found that around here. Working with Bob was good for the most part today. I was reallly enjoying the day and work. We talked about the problem I'm dealing with now. I like being able to talk openly with him. He knows some of my past, and how I am now. We have a pretty good time, most of the time. He sure pissed me off tonight tho. I started working early this morning. It was abot 10pm and he was leaving and told me his nephew would drive me home. I figured that was alright, but they forgot about me. Bob had my coat and things with him, and now I'm stuck sitting in a house with no money, no phone. i had to walk a long ways to use a pay phone to call them. I was really pissed. they always want to be so cheap when it comes to money. Always complaining that the works too slow, and always wanting more for nothing, and now they leave you in a place and forget you. When Paul finally got there i was all rehearsed to let him have it, but I couldn't get mad at him. He's so polite and nice, and I just said the heck with it. What good would getting mad really do. Wasn't going to change anything. All it would have done is make him feel bad, as well as myself. I know their bust an have a lot on their minds. there was a time that I really would have blasted him. Besides, I am thankful for the help they do give from the work. I find I really don't get angry much anymore. Sure I feel angry at times, but I don't like acting on it like I used to. Doing that always seems to only sqrew myself. I find that when it comes to strong emotions, it's better to wait till they are not so strong. Acting on emotions when they are strong isn't always good because you can't think straight. Better to wait till morning or sometime later when your mind is clearer. There was a time that I loved getting angry and shooting off my mouth. lost a lot of people I cared about that way. Not much more to talk about right now. It's late, and I'm tired. Thank you Lord, for watching over me. Forgive me for my wrong ways, and help me to better them. Thank you. Amen.