Well, things are going. Tomorows the day for surgery. I feel like backing out. I'll do it, but I don't think I'm prepared. lord help. Anyway, it was good getting back to work today. I felt pretty guilty going in. I  know it's hard for them when I don't show up but I just didn't feel up to it. Everything feels like it's all up in the air. my mind is racing a bit trying to keep up. Finding that peace seems dificult right now. At least I have Lil Jimmy with me. He's really a lot of comfort to me. Hearing him purr at night when we go to bed seems to give me some peace. Just knowing that he's happy makes me feel really good. I haven't heard from Georgette for a couple of days. I miss that. I'm sure everything is alright with her. When I talked with her on the phone she mentioned about mayby spending Thanks Giving together. That would be really great. Would be the first real holiday dinner that I would get the chance of making. And seeing that crazy lady again would be so good. I miss her hugs and hillbilly accent. I'm going to work with Bob tonight. Might be the last night that I'm able to for awhile, and I need the money. Today I wanted to pay the hydro, but I went to refill my prescriptions and found out I have to pay 10% now. I payed most of it, but didn't have the rest so I will do that tomorow. All the people on D.S. have been really supportive and encouraging. I've met some really good people that care. Thats a very good thing to have. Life can be hard sometimes, and you can feel all alone when your strugling, but even getting a hug on here makes me feel good. And any time I have a problem I just put it out and they answer whatever almost right away. Doing it alone is very tough, but I don't feel alone. I have God, the people on D.S. Georgette, Bob and quit a few others that want me to do good. Thats a good feeling. Lord I pray that I follow your ways. Help guid me, encourage me, and provide the strength I need. I thank you for everything. Amen.