Today I'm just relaxing. I'm enjoying just spending the weekend at home puttering around. I seem to be getting addicted to that. I feel that if you want a nice home, a place where you are happy, you need to work at it. It won't come from wishful thinking. When I do things I feel really good when I see the results. I also enjoy my thoughts while I'm doing things. I think about how G will be happy. Without her, I don't think I would care about wheather or not anything got done, and as usual get drunk sooner or later. I like that I can make G happy by what I do. Some people would look at that as a problem. They would call it people pleasing or something. I don't think so because I'm also taking care of my own needs. Everything I do isn't focused on just her, most, but not all. Besides it's working damned well for me. I do wonder tho at times, like today when I'm taking a bath I still want to clean everything that I see dirty. I'm sitting in the tub and I start cleaning all the shampoo, and conditioner bottles, and the basket they are in. I started to wonder if others cleaned things while taking a bath. doesn't matter. Cleaning makes me happy, so I suppose I'm looking after me. Like I said before i always found it hard to care for myself, which I beleive was a main reason that it took me so many years to really get sober. I love having someone to care for and share life with. It really makes me feel like I'm a real person.A whole person. God never intended that man be alone. He created a woman for man to be a companion, and to have relationship with. Later G and I are going to the movies. Were going to see, Get Smart. It should be good. My preferances for movies seems to have changed somewhat since quiting drinking. Instead of the old gangster and violent stuff, I find myself more drawn to things that are good. It's the good spirit inside of me wanting to be fed. I still watch some gangster movies, but very few now. Things like the Saprano's I just can't watch. i hate hearing every other word as a swear word. i lived like that before, and I talked like that, and I didn't like myself then, aned I needed to drink just to be able to live that way. If you can call it that. I find that I also prefere things that don't have vulger language, especially commedy. I respect it much more when a commedian can get real laughs without swearing or putting people down. It takes much more talent to look for real humour in life that people can relate to. Swearing and making fun of others is easy to do, but I think it has a negative effect on everyone it touches, and really, when it comes down to it, isn't it really abuse? I was an abusive person at one time, but at the time I was ignorent to abuse. I didn't know what it was. I grew up where abuse was  normal. My father was abusive, both physically and verbally, mostly it was verbal. I don't blame him because he probably didn't know either, but because of it, I know that it was passed on to me. Children learn what they hear and see.Like myself, he beleived that what he did was the right thing. He wasn't a bad person. He wanted what was right, but in those days there really wasn't alot of knowledge about these things. I am glad in alot of ways that I grew up in a time where there is vast amounts of knowledge on so much. I have learned alot through my life. Both the good and bad.