Well, I'm back at the center for the second day since spending time with my partner. I don't really feel happy about being here. In just the few days I was gone, some weird stuff has happened here. I really question the validity of what this center is supposed to represent. When I came back Dillon aparently gave this young guy a title. He's always giving people titles to make them feel important. Thats usually fine and dandy, but this guy smokes dope all the time and now he's representing the sobriety center. Sometimes I just want to throw up my hands with this place. I want to trust in it and beleive in it, but the truth is that I don't right now. I thought when I came here that I could make a differance, but I seem to be loseing faith in that idea. It's like I'm trying to do things and I'm all alone. Everyone that I try to get involved here just seem more concerned about there own lives. I think today I'm just questioning my purpose here. sometimes being here can be depressing. People lie to you, not always intentionally, but they do. You can't depend on anyone. I've tried almost everything I could think of to get some kind of caring atmosphere here, but it just doesn't seem to matter. I've made food, and they eat it and leave me the dirty dishes. I spend hours cleaning, and they fuck it up in minutes. I don't know. All I know is that from past experience, everytime you want to give up something usually happens. Well, I'm going to pray tonight and spend some time alone just to get my head together. I think with the moving and everything that needs done is overwhelming me a little. I'll be alright. I just wish I had the money to do the things that need done. I will have it next week. Patience isn't one of my best things. I love you Lord, and thank you.