Today went well at work. All the bullshit that I was experiencing at the begining seem to have settled down. When I get there, I just try to do my best, and thats all I can do. Today a blizzard started about 2 pm. There's snow flakes the size of tennise balls comming down. Yesterday it was so nice out, I thought for sure spring was on it's way. It's gotta come sometime. Geeze, this snow just doesn't seem to want to give up. Oh well, I guess God figures we need it for something. I gave my landlord the first months rent yesterday, so things are moving. a little bit scary tho. I need to paint and fix up the place. I might need some time off from here, but I know i'll still come here. this place has been a big factor of my recovery. If not for this place and Dillon trusting me, I might be dead by now. I owe a lot to this crazy place. i know sometimes I might bitch about things, and the people, but I am happy for the new life that I've been given. It's been three months now that I've been out of hell. overall, it's really been wonderful. All the changes, the new direction my life has taken, the job, the center here. When I look into the mirror now, I like the person that I see now. I have good feelings now, and I can sincerly care about other people. nothing seems to matter to me, other than just being the best that I can. i know there's still work that I can do to be better, but I am happy with me. I really am a living miracle. I'm not letting it get to my head, but when I look back to the way I was dying a few months ago, this change is really unbeleivable, and I owe it all to God. I sure couldn't have done this on my own. I know that. This three months has really felt like three years, when I look at everything that has gone on. It's funny to think that it's only been three months. Amazing the things that can happen when you let God into your life. The most amazing part is that the obsession is gone. I've strugled for about thirty years with addiction. Always, always, always that damned thing was always in my mind. it used to amaze me how easily I used to relapse. Sometimes all it took was some4one just saying, "Want a beer. " I would get home from meetings, and within 2 minutes I'de be drinking. Now I don't struggle at all with thoughts of using. well, I shouldn't say that, because there were times when it crossed my mind, but nothing has seemed worth loseing all that I have now, and I don't really have anything. what I do have back is me, and I don't ever want to lose that again. I like me, I am pretty good. Thank you, Lord. Thank you.