Thursday, February 28, 2008

  today was a really good day. I'm paying alot more attention to what I'm doing, and trying to just do things properly. The way they want it done. Talk about giving up your will. This has been a hard one for me. I've worked in this bussiness for about twenty years. I've acquired alot of ways, but I need to forget them and do things the way I'm told. It was hard at first, but I'm seeing that it is much easier, and things generally go well. I watch my supervisor how she works. She doesn't rush into the job blindly. She's careful to follow all the things that we are supposed to do. She may not be Speedy Gonzales, but she does the job correctly. I've been noticing that I go way too fast, and cut corners. Yesterday I did this and had a complaint by a customer. This place is a differant type of place. People expect top quality service, and if they don't get it they will complain. I had a talk with my supervisor today. I wanted to know the reasons why I was being given a hard time before. I went about it in a good way, as not to offend her or put her on the defensive. I told her because I would like to know so I can correct whatever I was doing that offended them. I know that because of all the years of being a chef, perhaps I may have been cocky at times. She said that she had noticed this, but she also said that she found me unaproachable. I can see this because when I'm going full steam at my job, I concentrate so much at the job, and not who, or whats around me. I think that by slowing down my pace things will be better. I need to realize that I'm not in a race to be the best anymore. I'm there to do a job. It can be accomplished well without rushing. The talk we had was good. I feel alot more comfortable around her and the others now. this week I have to work Saturday. They have some special day, and I'm the new guy so I'm working. Not a big deal. It's money and I'm not doing much anyway. I do look foreward to my Saturdays tho. After 5 days of work and the Sobriety Center, I look foreward to sleeping in. oh well. i went to look at an apartment today across the street from the Sobriety Center. Nice place, but no dogs. I'm not really in a possition yet anyway to rent a place. Maybe another month or two.                      I was talking with my sponsor today. He started yaking about me not getting to enough meetings. I may not get to as many meetings as I would like, but it sure isn't going to kill me. I am at a sobriety center and deal with recovery each day. I don't have any thoughts about using or drinking. That part of my life is in the past. I like the life I have now. When I can get to meetings I will. I'm not going to feel guilty about it. It's just the circumstance that I'm in. I told him he should come here and help me out. Then I hear his bullshit excuses. A.A. is not what gets you sober. Applying the steps and principals to your daily life will make things better. There are lots of things that I find in recovery, and I know I probably am doing alot more than he is. My whole life is around recovery. I have commitements with recovery. From the time I wake up I start my meditations, during the day I do my best at whatever is before me. My nights are spent at this Sobriety Center, of which I have made acommitment. i wish I could do more, but this is it for now, and I'm happy. Thank you Lord for all this.