Tuesday, February 26, 2008

   Today went well with work. Still settling down from the weekend. It was so wonderful to get away and relaxe. I miss the hot tub and comfy pillows. The Center is nice being back to. I'm trying to work on a few ideas this week to get a group started. If I'm going to be here most of the time, I might as well get some groups going. At work today this cashier started talking to me about religous things. I find it funny when others try telling me about how God is in my life. I'm happy about my relationship with God, and I know that I am growing in the ways he wants me to. This lady was very interesting tho. She was saying that because I talk and joke about things that my wearing a cross is hypocrisy. She has no idea what ny cross represents. I got that cross, after comming of coke the last time, because I wanted to be reminded of God when I look in the mirror each morning. What hypocrissy is there in that. I find that most Christians are more fucked up than addicts. I've been around alot over the years, and I studied it for a year, but Christians in general, I find, really don't know much about God or his ways. God accepts us just the way we are, and that was a real blessing for me to learn. I always thought you had to be good to be a Christian, and that prevented me from learning about God for a long time. I could never be good. I was always a drug addict, or drinking. It was impossible to live properly. But later on after learning about God, I learned that he accepts me just the way I am, with all my faults. When I came to him I was still using and drinking. Slowly things started to change. After I quit everything, I found that I could have a real relationship with God. He accepts me just the way I am. People didn't, and the world didn't, and thats what makes the differance. If we are to grow spiritually then we need to learn about spirituality, and stop thinking, and reasoning in terms that we have learned from the world. I still swear at times, I still look at pretty women, I smoke, and I like good sex, but God knows this. He accepted me with all these things, and more. But he is changing me. I'm no longer the same person I was two months ago. Every day I try to be the best person that I can be. Don't always do it right, but I keep trying. People should never listen to people that try to tell you things your doing wrong with God, or better yet are the ones that say God told them something to tell you. If my God wants me to know something He will tell me. Not someone else. By beleiving this I find that I don't carry around alot of unneccessary guilt. My God knows everything about me. He knows what needs to change, and He'll do it in his ways. Lord, I thank you for this life and the things you bring before me. I thank you for the wisdom to understand. I thank you for this life that you have given me.