Today is going well so far. Work is going great again. All the nonsense has stopped. Got my pay today. Funny when I get paid, I really don't know what to do with the money noe, except save it. Any money I got before seemed to be already spent before I even got it. I talked to my lawyer yesterday. I wasn't going to tell her that I was working because she was trying to work a deal with the crown to exchange my counseling for restitution. I thought about it, but I really feel that I need to pay for this. I've conned and lied all my life. This is an honest programe. I remember before trying to get sober, but still being a thief and a liar. It doesn't work. Without booze and drugs I still felt guilt and shame about liveing a dishonest life, especially in the meetings. How can you honestly go into a meeting and talk about honesty, knowing full well that your life is still a sham. I couldn't do it. I remember every time I got inside my place I would see all the things that I had. Everything was stolen. Not drinking just made things worse. I would just sit and think about how much of a thief I was. I told myself that thats not happening this time. I' ve had to get rid of lots of things because they were reminders of that old life. I don't want to steal anymore, and I'm not going to. Things are so much better when you can hold your head up high and not be afraid of anything. I have a past, but I'm also making definete changes for the better, and I will continue to grow. I thank you, Lord for giveing me the courage, the strength, and your wisdom. Thank you for this new life.
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James way to go and honesty is the best! Peace to you my friend