Today I feel very tired, but I want to keep pushing. I woke up about 4am instead of 4:30 and was 45 min early for the bus. Oh well, better early than late. Work is going great again, my supervisor has really calmed down. We get along well now, and even joke around. the chef who was there has left now and there's a new one. Doesn't really affect me much. I'm waiting for my lawyer to call. I suppose it's time for me to appear in court again. I'm not woried tho. I've been doing alot more than was required of me. I was seeing two differant counselor's for about six months. I finished a relapse prevention program, and now I'm clean two months and working at a Sobriety Center. what more can you ask for. It's really a very stupid charge, like many others before this one. It was around the last time I was using and drinking. I got mad and threw a rock threw a van window. Lokking back it's really like another person that did that, but it was me. This incident really made me start thinking of how alcohol and drugs were affecting me. I knew that if I kept going I would sooner or later end up in jail for something serious, unless I died first. What a freaking looney life that was. When I look back it even shocks me at times the things I did. but that's what happens when you have booze and drugs doing your thinking. Never once did I wake up and say, well today I'm going to get high and go to jail. Or I'm going to fuck everything up, but those things happened. Drugs and alcohol will take you places that you never dreamed you'de ever see, make you do things you never dreamed of doing, and take everything away, that you ever cared about. And still tell you, it's going to be good this time. What a lie that life is, nothing but a lie. I am so glad that I have been given another chance at life. I don't even know how getting sober ever happened to me. I think that it was because things were just so bad, that I finally became willing. And thank God for that, thank God. I may have turned my back on God many times, but he was always with me. I know I should be dead. I am on borrowed time. I beleive that God has given me this time to use my experiences to help others, and thats what I try to do here at the Center. Every day is a blessing. Thank you so much, Lord.