Today was a 100% better. I talked about my problem last night with a freind. Just by talking about it, I knew what I should do, and it had nothing to do with feelings. I did not feel like doing what I knew I had to do because it was aimed right at my pride. What I felt like doing would have been disaster for sure. Which only goes to show that we can't live by feelings. Doing the right things is almost the oposite all the time to our ways as addicts. Doing what we felt like has a lot to do with our becoming addicts. The road of recovery will not always feel good. Sometimes it can feel awful, but what I am learning the more I practice doing God's will it is results that we canot forsee down the road that makes recovery worth while. We need to start beleiving God's word, and stop being short sighted. The human mind usually thinks in terms of what our knowledge can comprehend. If we are to grow spiritually, we need to aknowlede that all our great thinking means nothing to the world of spirituality. Our knowlede can hinder our growth if we are not willing to look beyond ourselves and our ways of thinking. We need to start beleiving in the impossibilities of what we know to receive the true blessings of God. Knowledge can limit our rewards of recovery. We can be to smart ande never know God. We need to put away knowledge and take on the mindset of a child. How can we learn anything if we already know everything.  Anyway, I feel like I'm back in the saddle again. The last few days I was letting the spirit of anger cotrole my mind, and almost my actions. I was not feeling the peace of God anymore. Instead I was thinking things that would hurt people. I was wanting to do things that were wrong, just to save my pride. I realised last night I needed to swallow my pride and just do the right thing. First of all, with this cooperation of God's will, I slept good. I had resigned myself to do the right thing. There was no more strugling. It's what I had to do. Today when I got into work, as soon as I seen my superviso, I appologized for getting angry with her. I also told her that this is a problem that I've been strugling with awhile. She was happy to hear, and actually was alot nicer today. I told her about my medication too, and abit about the problem I have at times with my thinking. My freind last night said it was paranoia thinking. Thats not the first time I've been told that by people. I'm going to really look at that and try to find ways of dealing with it.  Lord I thank you for being with me, and allowing me to learn and grow from these things, and thank you for showing me the way out.