4 kids? bad idea
Four kids? What was I thinking? I'd make them all preschoolers again if I could. I've never wished them young again until now. Their lives are getting way too complicated for me and I'm stressing bad.
3 of my 4 children broke up from their SO's in the last few months. Oldest dd was married with 2 kids and they broke up around Christmas. Two youngest kids just ended relationships in the last 2 weeks, both were dating for a year or more. My son ended up moving back with me as he was living with his girlfriend... this is the son I can't trust, he steals from me and drinks alot. He's not working now either so he has no money (less drinking, more likely to steal). I have to keep my pills and anything valuable, like my camera, at bf's. I hate not being able to trust him and hate having my house taken over by my adult kids. Oldest son is still here and still out of work after more than a year now. And now youngest dd is worried about how she will afford her apartment and who is going to watch Noah all the time; her bf is a really nice guy and helped out alot.... I end up taking on alot of the worry and doing more to help than I should both financially and physically. I'm stressing out pretty bad and feeling overwhelmed, lots of really bad headaches the last few days. Its true what they say "the older they are the bigger their problems" - wish they could be preschoolers again.
My son is trying to get a job in Alberta, he has lots of friends out there and has some positive leads. He should know today and I'll be so glad if he gets something and goes. Its a shame to feel that way, but I do love him and if he goes out there he will have a place to live and make some really good money. I do wish the best for him and hope he doesn't mess up this great opportunity.
Oh I can't even think about all of this anymore. The more I think about each of my kids I feel like I really screwed up as a mother. I always believed that my job as a mother was to work myself out of a job but they are adults now and it didn't work. I tried to teach them to be responsible and independent but here I am still baling them out and worrying myself sick about them. I need a distraction now... gotta get a coffee
3 of my 4 children broke up from their SO's in the last few months. Oldest dd was married with 2 kids and they broke up around Christmas. Two youngest kids just ended relationships in the last 2 weeks, both were dating for a year or more. My son ended up moving back with me as he was living with his girlfriend... this is the son I can't trust, he steals from me and drinks alot. He's not working now either so he has no money (less drinking, more likely to steal). I have to keep my pills and anything valuable, like my camera, at bf's. I hate not being able to trust him and hate having my house taken over by my adult kids. Oldest son is still here and still out of work after more than a year now. And now youngest dd is worried about how she will afford her apartment and who is going to watch Noah all the time; her bf is a really nice guy and helped out alot.... I end up taking on alot of the worry and doing more to help than I should both financially and physically. I'm stressing out pretty bad and feeling overwhelmed, lots of really bad headaches the last few days. Its true what they say "the older they are the bigger their problems" - wish they could be preschoolers again.
My son is trying to get a job in Alberta, he has lots of friends out there and has some positive leads. He should know today and I'll be so glad if he gets something and goes. Its a shame to feel that way, but I do love him and if he goes out there he will have a place to live and make some really good money. I do wish the best for him and hope he doesn't mess up this great opportunity.
Oh I can't even think about all of this anymore. The more I think about each of my kids I feel like I really screwed up as a mother. I always believed that my job as a mother was to work myself out of a job but they are adults now and it didn't work. I tried to teach them to be responsible and independent but here I am still baling them out and worrying myself sick about them. I need a distraction now... gotta get a coffee
Replies
Someone once told me that there is no retirement from being a mother. I am 61 and can still get a knot in my stomach from a conversation with one of my sons. If someone hurts them it hurts me.
I think you are a good mom and that you did everything right. What is going on has to be stressful. My sister has a like situation. In todays economy it is hard to find jobs and I think adult children are depending on their parents help more and more.
I think you are a wonderful person. I am sorry that on top of your pain that you have this stress.
Enjoy that cup of coffee. I am having one with you right now in |ittle Rock Arkansas.
O Lisa, your not a bad mom! I once had to tell one of my kids that I was his mom first and his friend second!
They have to learn by their own mistakes sometimes:(
It is so stressful! I sometimes wish mine were young again, I would try to teach them more....but would it do any good?
A mom NEVER stops worrying.
(((Hugs)))) just don\'t be blaming yourself for anything!
Wishing for your Children to be stronger and Happier is never a bad thing!
thanks for the support. Today things feel better. My youngest dd and her bf have patched things up and are back together. Youngest son got confirmation for a job today so hoping everything falls into place so he can get out there. I\'m in a better frame of mind and had a better day mentally.
Family sure can cause the biggest stress in our lives... and especially when it is our children and they are suffering or life is treating them badly. Our own pain can sometimes pale to insignificence compared to the pain we feel on behalf of our children... yet of course it is too much for you to have them \"hanging about the house\" at this point in their lives, and especially when you are dealing with your own cp/work issue and associated stress. Glad the new day brought a new attitude for yourself... and cupid did a little valentines day patch up... not too mention the excellent news re prospective job for your son. Hope all of that more positive news stays positive and that your stress levels can come down considerabely as a result.
Sending lots of hugs and smiles for you... take care... Gaye... xxx