4/18/2013
I know I talk about 'Karma" alot. I'm not sure I really believe in it because I can't quite merge it with my christian beliefs and I don't really think God does the Karma bit, but I could be wrong. Sometimes it's hard to not believe in "what goes around, comes around".
Yesterday, told ex to come to my office. We still had our joint acct for practical reasons. he was not hardly using it so i had his debit card and some check books. I'd finally gotten my own acct and taken all my money out of the joint one. I needed him to come get his card and chkbooks.
When he came over, he starts talking about things cause he thinks we are friends and doesnt see any reason he shouldnt talk to me about #4 and "their" plans etc. I just sit and listen and marvel. His "perfect" job isnt perfect anymore. They have cut back on how many extra classes he can teach. I knew they would eventually, but it's going to hit his pocketbook and he's mad. He's looking for a parttime job now to make up the difference. He's done this befroe: he will get tired, won't have time for blah blha blah. It doesnt work out well. he always has too much on his plate and gets stressed. Then, he tells me that #4 is not moving here in July. It's going to be August at the earliest. something about her classes have been pushed back etc, etc...So they are in Limbo. Then he tells me that once she finishes her classes and moves here and gets a pharmacy tech job, she's going to start studying medical coding. I forget which one is supposed to be the fallback job. But, I happen to know that medical coding jobs do not pay well-tho I dont say that to him. I remember when we first met and I was majoring in accounting, he kept tryng to talk me in to taking all other kinds of stuff, too like notary public. I had no interest, so I didnt-EPIPHANY-he wants us to be like him! all these extra skills, etc..interesting. Anyway, I ask him if there is a big demand for coders here (cause I'm thinking there isnt). First he says yes. Then he says there should be. Then he says if not here, she could drive to "A" or "S" and work there (Note -both cities are an hour from here). I'm wondering if he's talked her in to doing one of those "learn medical coding at home" things cause I think I've heard they are a racket but not my prob. Moving on...our bankruptcy which he pays (part of the agreement) will be done in 2 years. When it's over they are going to buy a Fiat whatever...that will be a third car..just for him to drive back and forth to "S"..where he works part of his job. Ok, well, the 2 vehicles they have a paid for, but that would be insurance for 3 vehicles...not my prob. Then he talks about the vaca they are gonna take whenever (I forget). Driving west going thru N.M, etc...coming back through Wyoming, etc etc...Well, let's just say in my experience he is big on talk and dreams...but follow thru? Not so much...so, interesting convo...I just sat there nodding my head. One part of me thinking OMG (and smiling) Part of me thinking "Why did I ever think he was sensitive? Cause he sees nothing wrong in talking to me about "their" plans."so, yes I'm kinda smiling inside. I've been thru this kinda thing with him-all his wives have. I don't think she knows him well enough to realize it will always be like this. It's like he has to have chaos and crisis. not my prob anymore. I know from experience how these "plans" work out. I see everything that is going to happen. I'm not gloating-really I am not...but..I am kinda smiling inside but hoping Karma won't mind that.
Yesterday, told ex to come to my office. We still had our joint acct for practical reasons. he was not hardly using it so i had his debit card and some check books. I'd finally gotten my own acct and taken all my money out of the joint one. I needed him to come get his card and chkbooks.
When he came over, he starts talking about things cause he thinks we are friends and doesnt see any reason he shouldnt talk to me about #4 and "their" plans etc. I just sit and listen and marvel. His "perfect" job isnt perfect anymore. They have cut back on how many extra classes he can teach. I knew they would eventually, but it's going to hit his pocketbook and he's mad. He's looking for a parttime job now to make up the difference. He's done this befroe: he will get tired, won't have time for blah blha blah. It doesnt work out well. he always has too much on his plate and gets stressed. Then, he tells me that #4 is not moving here in July. It's going to be August at the earliest. something about her classes have been pushed back etc, etc...So they are in Limbo. Then he tells me that once she finishes her classes and moves here and gets a pharmacy tech job, she's going to start studying medical coding. I forget which one is supposed to be the fallback job. But, I happen to know that medical coding jobs do not pay well-tho I dont say that to him. I remember when we first met and I was majoring in accounting, he kept tryng to talk me in to taking all other kinds of stuff, too like notary public. I had no interest, so I didnt-EPIPHANY-he wants us to be like him! all these extra skills, etc..interesting. Anyway, I ask him if there is a big demand for coders here (cause I'm thinking there isnt). First he says yes. Then he says there should be. Then he says if not here, she could drive to "A" or "S" and work there (Note -both cities are an hour from here). I'm wondering if he's talked her in to doing one of those "learn medical coding at home" things cause I think I've heard they are a racket but not my prob. Moving on...our bankruptcy which he pays (part of the agreement) will be done in 2 years. When it's over they are going to buy a Fiat whatever...that will be a third car..just for him to drive back and forth to "S"..where he works part of his job. Ok, well, the 2 vehicles they have a paid for, but that would be insurance for 3 vehicles...not my prob. Then he talks about the vaca they are gonna take whenever (I forget). Driving west going thru N.M, etc...coming back through Wyoming, etc etc...Well, let's just say in my experience he is big on talk and dreams...but follow thru? Not so much...so, interesting convo...I just sat there nodding my head. One part of me thinking OMG (and smiling) Part of me thinking "Why did I ever think he was sensitive? Cause he sees nothing wrong in talking to me about "their" plans."so, yes I'm kinda smiling inside. I've been thru this kinda thing with him-all his wives have. I don't think she knows him well enough to realize it will always be like this. It's like he has to have chaos and crisis. not my prob anymore. I know from experience how these "plans" work out. I see everything that is going to happen. I'm not gloating-really I am not...but..I am kinda smiling inside but hoping Karma won't mind that.
Replies
Some would ask why you sat and listened to him. You know him so well and you know it\'s over. That\'s why you can listen and smile inside. You know he is history and can\'t hurt you any more.
Yeah, they do ask why I am listening.. But even though I am not gloating, even on the inside. And I really do not wish them ill, it\'s still gratifying to know that: nope....for all his talk, he has not changed. and nope......she is not getting some new improved him where life will be a bed of roses for them. I kept thinking it was like a woman putting her husband thru med school just to have him throw her away once things got better. No, he doesn\'t move or change jobs every 6 months now. He does (did) seem settled in a job finally-so she wont have that to deal with. But she will have all the other. I guess I\'m just human. But I do need to let go more. We now have no reason to be in touch. Once I get my new hearing aids next week, I\'m going back to church and add some more layers to my life.