4/10/2013

I have noticed recently a lot of my anxious moments are grounded in my inability to focus on something specific and targeted to the exclusion of other items that tend to distract from my goal,,, I find that I shift to fast and too easy, and  this is not just counter productive but annoying as well,,
 
My life is changing ,,I accept that and I have to work with that ,,,granted the changes are fairly surface oriented, and are in no way life threatening and yet they create feeling that I find are not things that I am particularly comfortable with,,, especially going forward.
 
I have given up on finding a workable relationship,,, it has only brought me despair and sadness and made almost everything I do or get involved in very confusing,, We are meant to be social beings and yet the interactions that exist on that plain for me at least are silly, pointless, and remote. I am not feeling sorry for myself, nor am I making a half-hearted attempt at whining my way through this ,,, though it may seem that way.
 
I seem fixated on change and when it doesn't happen I get really awfully anxious and flustered,,, there are so many things out there which is where focus comes to rest or the inability to maintain the type of focus that will achieve something attainable ,,, I am ranting I know ,,, maybe it is that time of the month for me to rant ???