4 1/2 years no job and 4 years without my Smokey.

No wonder I get depressed as I haven't have full-time paid job since August 26, 2008.
My true love Smokey died Nov. 15, 2009.
I am struggling.  It effects my sleeping habits.  It all sucks.  It is all stressful.  I don't know how anyone can cope under this load or with these kinds of problems.
I am still here but for what purpose I do not know.
What sucks more is there are more widows/divorcess my age at 57 than compared to any available men.  
It all seems so very hopeless and fruitless at the moment.  
I am a very unhappy woman.
It 5:03 a.m. and thought I would share with those awake or you will eventually read this journal writing of mine.  Thank you for listening.
People surprise me and call me a very positive woman.  I wonder where she went.
Unhappy Diane B.