Well, I went and did it……I went to the movies with my dad. I couldn't help but feel nervous for some reason, kinda like we just don't do things like that, we don't have that kind of relationship. My brothers do but I don't. I'm too distant from the family or not. My mood has been all over the place lately so I was worried about that…..I almost had to cancel feeling like I just can't do it. I know this may sound trivial to most people but for me its real emotions and worries. We met at my place before the show and I was worried about what we would talk about and what he would think of my messy place. I worry about shit like this and it affects me, not in a good way. I have spent years building a wall around me and pushing people away its so hard to let down my guard and let them in. I'm happy to say that today was a good day spending time with the old man and the movie was very funny. Somewhere inside me I knew things would be just fine but its hard to see that beyond all the worries, the what ifs, the nervousness, the fear of letting down my guard for a bit. I'm glad I did today. Who knows ….maybe we can do this again in the future.