Back from my visit with my brother and his family. Overall, it all went well. Only a few awkward moments. I was really nervous about the ride there with my dad, like what do we talk about? Do I bring up my recent hospitalization? Does he ask about self harm or bipolar? Lots of questions and lots of potential scenarios were going through my head. Probably one reason I didn't sleep well. It really was good to see my brother. I can't remember the last time I saw him. Only one of my nieces was there (the other one was at gymnastics and my nephew was at camp), but it was so nice to see her. I have always gotten along with my brothers wife and it was great to see her again as well. We had a nice lunch followed by brownie sundaes! They were awesome! All in all a good visit. Unfortunately I couldn't stop feeling like a stranger in a strange land. I have very little in common with anybody there and a few times I just didn't know what to talk about. We discussed briefly how I'm doing with work but that was it. I just dont have anything in common with them to talk about. I'm not married, have no kids and am not mentally and financially stable right now. They all are. I couldn't help but feel different. All that said……I know they still love me and I can feel it and that made me smile today. I'm happy to report that even though I felt awkward and sometimes out of place it was a good visit and a good day.
Replies
I\'m so proud of you for going. You\'re a real trooper, P. I think it\'s expected to feel a bit awkward at first, esp since you can\'t remember last time you saw them all. But it sounds like they accepted you despite what you think of yourself and your situation. It really sounds like a great family. Again, way to go, I hope you feel good about it :) (((hugs)))
YAY! I knew it would go okay! It\'s hard making small talk but it sounds like you\'ve got a handle on that. I\'m so happy for you just deciding to go! I hope you\'re proud of yourself!
good for you Pagan... you achieved something even with all these fears and worries.. you stepped out of your comfort zone.... and it sounds like you had a good time in spite of it all.... yes some uncomfortable moments.... but like Sadie says.. it\'s been a while since you have seen them.. and I also hope you are proud too
(((hugs))) x
P, glad you\'ve a loving family. Brownie sundaes!
I feel like I\'m in the same boat as you Pagan around my brother and his family and it is not due to anything on their part. I also just don\'t feel that I have that much in common with or can relate to. He\'s married has three kids and three grandkids and is financially stable whereas I just skim by but I\'v finally realized they don\'t exclude me in loving me just the way I am. I think it has more to do with my views of myself as a \"failure\" but I\'m slowly accepting their unconditional love and realize he wants to share his life with me MI or not. I\'m so proud of you for going maybe you will go more often now and not feel inferior. There really is no reason too feel that way. i think our minds just make up the worst scenarios sometimes and we accept ourselves that\'s all that really matters and if they accept us too well...that\'s just the brownie sundae on top!! HUGS!!