Left work about 2 hrs. early today. I had to do it, I could not handle being there. My co-worker was understanding of it but he is part of the reason I couldn't handle it anymore. He pissed me off early in the day and just kept annoying me the rest of the day. Come to think of it, most every person I came in contact with annoyed me. So, I suppose its probably all me. I just don't feel good and haven't for a while know. I am so sick of hearing myself complain. I wish I wasn't like this. I hate myself for being this way. Why can't I just be happy and deal with my problems in a healthy way like so many others out there? I keep thinking about cutting but so far haven't given in. I told my therapist the other day that I would not be surprised if I start thinking about suicide sometime soon. I started thinking recently that maybe I would be better off dead. That way I wouldn't be suffering anymore and my family and friends wouldn't have to worry about me anymore. I haven't been thinking of killing myself (not yet), just thinking that maybe I would be better off dead. There is still a part of me that wants to fight and hang on and that part hates those thoughts. I don't know anymore, I'm feeling more lost everyday. A huge thanks to anybody who reads my ramblings.