just got home from work…..tired….headache…..sad. I went out on a limb and started talking more about my depression with one of my co-workers, trying to explain what it does to me, how it effects everything in my life and how debilitating it can be,etc. I give him credit for trying to understand but I ended up feeling worse and frustrated because he just didn't get it. Its my fault for thinking he might understand but I should know better. I felt stupid for even opening my mouth. I know he meant well with the things he said but it didn't help. He also pointed out how its been obvious lately that Im struggling. That made me feel bad too because I can't even hide it well anymore. Im breaking down piece by piece. Im not religious but I pray to the spirit of earth……the energy thats part of all living things to help give me the strength to get through this. That and a good support system and who knows I may just get out of this alive but I admit I need a lot of help. I hate asking for help.
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((hugs)) you can\'t feel bad bc he didn\'t get it. The thing ab depression is that if you haven\'t felt it, you can\'t understand it. It doesn\'t make sense, and its so damn painful people can\'t fathom what it would be like. Most people aren\'t familiar with pain that makes you want to die.
But I hear at the end of this entry you preparing to ask for help. It sucks, but you know its the only way you will get better. I\'m still pulling for you.
Try not to feel bad for him not understanding. Depression is one of those things that people don\'t understand unless they\'ve been there themselves. They just don\'t get it. They make comments that they think will help, when in reality it just make things worse. When I opened up to my best friend about what I\'ve experienced she was like \"wow.... I didn\'t know it was like that. I\'m so sorry\".
Like Sadie said, it sounds like you\'re starting to reach out for help. I\'m very stubborn and hate asking for help too, so I understand how much that sucks. But sometimes we just have to, in order to get better. ((Hugs))
fjoneszy and sadie are both right. you are getting to the point of reaching out for help. ask away. no one who has never been there ever really understands, i think that\'s the problem with most shrinks, another story. lol so you tried to confide in someone you thought could understand? bravo for trying and think of the education he got from you.
however, when we get to the point of it causing problems at work, we need to get some more help of some kind. Is this possible for you?
remember, you have us to help, too.
big hugs and rough kitty kisses