I don't know if I can make it to the new year to start IOP. Things are just getting harder and harder to deal with. I feel like Im not holding it together very well anymore and to be honest Im tired of holding it together. Sometimes I just want to totally lose it, let myself break down and cry and hurt myself more and just give in to the pain and frustration I feel bearing down on me mercilessly. I have more and more thoughts of calling for help, going to the hospital where I would be safe and looked after….far away from the outside world. The outside world which I am having such a hard time dealing with. People are pissing me off more and more everyday, it gets harder and harder to get up and go to work and even harder getting through the day. People tell me….hey, your doing it, your fighting and getting by and doing what you have to do. That may be true but the cost to me is anger, frustration, sadness, fatigue, etc. I am so emotionally drained and physically not well. Can I keep on like this? I truly don't know. Part of me wants to keep fighting and part of me wants to give up.
Replies
Sorry your feeling this way Pagan...please keep fighting and you know we are here for you ok? Hugs.
Pagan, ofc there is a cost to you. If you could get treatment sooner, it would be better bc when you\'re waiting, every day is 1000x harder than the day before. But you ARE doing it. When to get help is all up to you. ((hugs)) hang in there friend and do what you need to do.
Huge hug for you sweetie...If you need to go to emerg I hope you will P...It can make a huge difference being inpatient ...I found in a pretty short amount of time... I think the key is being monitored and feel supported around the clock and having all the stress that life brings being removed for a while... Huge hug and a blessing ....xo
Could you go ip while waiting? Hugs my friend...