I actually slept pretty good last night. A welcome change. I guess what I need to do is just end my work week with a 17hr shift and wear myself out physically and emotionally then my body and mind has no choice….it just shuts down. I welcomed the shutdown last night . I was barely functioning when I got home. Even tried to go online to see who was about because I kinda wanted to talk to someone but I couldn't even form a sentence or organize my thoughts so that didn't last long. Kinda funny actually. When I get that tired I get moody, usually silly and I swear I start seeing things. Anyway….enough about that. So, how am I feeling after all that? I woke feeling melancholic. Its like a grey feeling. A bit down. I feel indifferent to the world around me and I have absolutely no energy or motivation. Im not too surprised actually, this is how I get when I wear myself down. The problem is my defenses are down and I feel open to whatever mood happens to arise. Don't know if that makes any sense. Somehow it does to me. Theres housework to be done and bills to be paid but I can't do any of it right now. I am physically and emotionally tired still even after a good night sleep. I think I need about 3 more of those sleeps to get caught up on what Ive been missing. I have a 4pm pdoc appointment and I don't even have the energy to go but I will. I know its very important. Gotta keep fighting this downward spiral. I think thats one of the reasons Im so tired…..fighting this battle is tiresome.
Replies
You make perfect sense. Good luck at your appt, snaps to you for keeping it and making yourself go.
Yes, you make sense, and I hope you get some good help from your pdoc today. Do you think you can get more sleep like you did last night? Fighting is tiresome, but I am glad you are fighting the spiral. Why does depression and anguish pull on us so strongly? Idk.
Great question spacepony, wish I had the answer.
I\'m glad you had a good sleep sweetie... I hope your appt goes well...17 hour days don\'t sound too healthy to me Pagan... I know you need to sleep but there has to be a better way... Big hug for you... I hear and understand what you\'re saying as well...xo
I\'m glad you slept well too... after a 17 hour shift I\'d be goosed too.... and I agree with Jan... it doesn\'t sound too healthy.. but I suppose needs must..... I hope your appointment goes well this afternoon and you are able to come to a decision on what\'s the best way forward x