Where do I begin? My mind is filled with things to talk about, how do I choose? Ive had some bad dreams lately. I was planning to kill myself in one and cut myself in another. I didn't kill myself and I didn't cut myself in those dreams but what do they mean. My therapist was a little worried about them but thought if I resisted in the dreams then its a good sign. Problem is its got me thinking of self harm more than I have in a couple months. I can't help but feel I will give in. Not sure when but its like a dark cloud hanging over me. Will I ever get out from under that cloud?   Im sad. I feel like I have so much wrong with me. Im lonely but who would want someone like me….. scarred and unstable. Listen to me complain. I know I will never have a "normal" life but I still hope to find someone special and maybe some stability. What a nice dream, Ive had it for a long time. Will it ever come true? Im not feeling positive about that unfortunately.