I feel really low tonight. Been feeling like it all day really. Went to work, was at a clients house for 5 hours, wasn't so bad because I could sit and read my book, but before I started reading I just felt so shit, felt so bored and quite depressed. But now the feeling is back. I was supposed to be meeting my mate, but I really can't be arsed with it. I don't know whats wrong with me. I'm starting to feel the same way I did when Kenny passed, just feeling like I want to be alone. I don't get it. I feel very alone, but the thing is I say I want to be alone, part of me doesn't, part of me just wishes I had more close friends. Just feel like I totally can't be bothered doing anything tonight. Just feel like I want to sit and cry. I think I'm being really silly. It's not like I am suffering and have that hard a life! Why do I feel this way, like I'm being hard done to, as if I have nothing! Sometimes it just feels that way. I keep asking myself why does all this shit happen. I want Kenny back. I miss him terribly. I loved him so much and he's gone but I can't stop thinking about him. I wished my grandpa was still here, it breaks my heart to see my gran the way she is, and my mum too :( I just wish things were the way they once were and that we could all be here and live happily ever after. But we all know life isn't that easy and nothing ever will be. It just fucking sucks.