Can't believe its all over now. The funeral was actually easier than the burial that I went to last year. It went by really quickly and the service must have only lasted 20minutes if even that. Just glad the minister didn't ramble on and on and on. It was a nice service. Good turn out aswell. We got out of the Camby club at the back of two after the tea and sandwiches that they had for those who turned up. It was nice. It totally wasn't what I'd expected. To be honest I don't even know what I expected. Maybe that it would have been really emotional and unbearable. But it really wasn't that bad. I think its more the thought of my grandad getting cremated which makes me feel really uneasy, but its what he wanted, and you don't see anything anyway, it was much easier than going to a burial and actually seeing a coffin being lowered into the ground. Still doesn't really feel real. But guess this is the feeling of numbness and emptyness that comes when there is a death. How long it will last, I don't know. I haven't really cried either today. It's just so weird, I can't explain it. I miss him. I wish he was still here, but I can't seem to greive the loss properly. Maybe that will come. I just don't understand it. I guess in a way,there's only so much you can do. You can't cry all the time, the person who passed would never want that. And in my case, my grandad totally wouldn't want that, guess he'd rather we just try and carried on best we can and be there for each other. There's no other way round it.