Funeral's next Thursday :( So dreading it. Its a cremation. I've never been to one of those before. Blar. The wait is awful, in a way I'd rather it was just a few days away rather than having to wait like almost a full week. It's all I keep thinking about. But in saying that, I still can't seem to cry =/ I don't get it. When Kenny passed I was destraught. But I just can't seem to cry, I keep telling myself to be very strong for everyone and for myself because I know the hell I went through last year. I have cried, at night I cry a bit, but its nothing compared to last year. I can't seem to grieve properly though. I feel numb like an emptyness, I've never felt this way before. Guess I'm trying not to think about things. In all honesty I haven't really thought about whats happened in very much detail at all. I've thought about it briefly and now the funeral is coming up I'm thinking about it more. But, it just feels totally different to the way I felt last year. I just don't understand it. I really don't want Thursday to come. But it has to happen, there is no way out.