Funeral's next Thursday :( So dreading it. Its a cremation. I've never been to one of those before. Blar. The wait is awful, in a way I'd rather it was just a few days away rather than having to wait like almost a full week. It's all I keep thinking about. But in saying that, I still can't seem to cry =/ I don't get it. When Kenny passed I was destraught. But I just can't seem to cry, I keep telling myself to be very strong for everyone and for myself because I know the hell I went through last year. I have cried, at night I cry a bit, but its nothing compared to last year. I can't seem to grieve properly though. I feel numb like an emptyness, I've never felt this way before.  Guess I'm trying not to think about things. In all honesty I haven't really thought about whats happened in very much detail at all. I've thought about it briefly and now the funeral is coming up I'm thinking about it more. But, it just feels totally different to the way I felt last year. I just don't understand it.  I really don't want Thursday to come. But it has to happen, there is no way out.

Replies

deleted_user
deleted_user

Hey Hayley dont feell bad, it does not matter if your not crying, when my grandfather died i did not cry, i think you should sit down and write about your grandad it will be theraputic trust me, tell your mum you want to a something at the funeral, if not then just be strong but you can cry, be positive, you will get through this Hayley! xxxx
deleted_user
deleted_user

I would like to be able to say something at the funeral but I really don\'t think I could do it, and I don\'t even know what I\'d say without getting really upset and probably break down infront of everyone. I guess when the time comes I will cry and I\'ll just have to let it happen. Can\'t stay strong all the time.
deleted_user
deleted_user

I know Hayley, whatever emotions come they are natural, so be yourself and you will get through this. xxx
deleted_user
deleted_user

I\'m sorry for your loss HUGS