Had a strange dream about Kenny last night. It's the third one I've had when I've actually woke up crying. I can't completely remember all of it but I'll try my best. Basically all I remember was that Kenny was in my room we were playing the wii I think :S I don't recall him actually coming into the room or anything but just him being there. Then I thought I'm going into my mum and dads room because they were there next door. But he said no. He told me I was the only one who could know that he was still here and I couldn't tell anyone. Really confusing I know :S But it felt sooo real. It was about then when I woke up, crying.I love those dreams but at the same time I hate them. They feel so real and all I want it to never wake up from them. Sometimes I think having those dreams keeps the  memories still alive, and its actually like he IS with me when I dream about him like that. But maybe it just means nothing. Just shows he is always on my mind. It is hard to just move on. I can't be sad all of the time. But sometimes its just too hard to be strong. I've had such a good weekend this week aswell. I have still thought about him, quite a lot but I've managed to hold myself together as good as I can. Had a bit of a breakdown on Saturday night. Found out my brother has been taking something for a good wee while now... It's the same stuff Kenny took. But I know they are totally different people. He's still my brother and obviously I need to look out for him. But he's promised he knows what he's doing and won't go too far. I trust him with my life so I trust him with this. In a way I think nononono DO NOT touch any drug, but then, it is his life, and in the end he is going to do what he wants to do anyways. And its better I can actually talk to him about it rather than just shut it all out and never speak of it again. But I had phoned my best mate and he kind of said that I HAD to tell our parents =/ Which I am totally against. My brother isn't a fuckin addict. And I know it is really easy to get hooked on these things. But I know of a few folk who take it in moderation. Everyone is different. This time last year I would be dead against any drug. But opinions change. And now all I think is that you're only here once, so do what you like. Because in the end, whatever you truly want to do and it is possible then you will do it either way. So it doesn't really matter who trys to stop you.  Anyways, rant over. I've lost my good eyeshadow :( Will have to go out and buy some today, like soon before work. Can't go out without any makeup now! haha.