another day
trying to keep telling myself all over and do not plan to contact.
No longer shows relationship on Facebook. His profile picture still shows us in pic together, which in the back of my head makes me think maybe there is still a chance in the future. UGH!!!!!! Is this somehow a new way for him to manipulate me?
He posted on FB meeting his female "landlord" getting beer and going to a bar with a couple other friends. Maybe nothing going on between the two but hurts knowing can and will happen with her or someone soon.
Now to get out of my head that there is that smidgen of a chance of getting back together, be happy with myself, do not second guess, and actually BLOCK him from my facebook and cell phone.
I just can't do it just yet. Need to feel more comfort for myself somehow. It WILL happen, just freaks me out a bit right now. finding the perfect man right now would be such a wrong way to get over my past, but that actually comes through my head occasionally also. ....that feeling of just not wanting to be alone or knowing what the future holds, or if it will include a person, or if I will be along the rest of my life. .....serious rambling here! LOL
No longer shows relationship on Facebook. His profile picture still shows us in pic together, which in the back of my head makes me think maybe there is still a chance in the future. UGH!!!!!! Is this somehow a new way for him to manipulate me?
He posted on FB meeting his female "landlord" getting beer and going to a bar with a couple other friends. Maybe nothing going on between the two but hurts knowing can and will happen with her or someone soon.
Now to get out of my head that there is that smidgen of a chance of getting back together, be happy with myself, do not second guess, and actually BLOCK him from my facebook and cell phone.
I just can't do it just yet. Need to feel more comfort for myself somehow. It WILL happen, just freaks me out a bit right now. finding the perfect man right now would be such a wrong way to get over my past, but that actually comes through my head occasionally also. ....that feeling of just not wanting to be alone or knowing what the future holds, or if it will include a person, or if I will be along the rest of my life. .....serious rambling here! LOL
Replies
I\'m not in any shape personally to give advice, but I will anyway. Definitely don\'t look at his FB page. Even if you feel compelled to keep the phone unblocked, FB is just asking for more pain.
I hope you, and those others like me that are struggling with this, will find some measure of peace soon. We will be able to fully let go, detach, and not give them control over us anymore. Our futures await.
Gave great advice. I just want to dream of an easy time starting right this moment....... detaching and feeling that inner peace and loving myself.
Church is helping me a great deal, even though I get side tracked easily.
p.s.... easier said than done kind of thing, but they have no control of us. We are just letting them have that control. We can do this! :-)
Hi savvy, I agree with LNF3 - you HAVE to get away from his FB page. That is just pain waiting to happen. And he can manipulate you to his heart\'s content with random updates, pictures, etc. Just get away from it; it is toxic. Don\'t just unfriend, BLOCK. Not sure if you are aware of the difference (I wasn\'t until I blocked stbx), but blocking should get rid of all of his posts/comments, even if they would normally be seen via a mutual friend. It also gets rid of all the past history.
You absolutely CAN do this. Do not let someone treat you this way. I know you don\'t want to be angry - but sometimes it\'s the only reasonable emotion. Don\'t let someone treat you this way! You, LNF3, I, and many others deserve better than this kind of treatment. Reject the person who is treating you this way.
Be strong, and be well.
You have to remember, also, how he is thinking. I\'m not saying that you could never have a friendship in the future, but right now, you are in no place to have even a friendship with him. If he realizes that you entertain the thought of remaining in his life, even as just a friend, then it reassures him that he has time to \"figure himself out\", which in his mind, makes it perfectly reasonable that he go out, meet other people, and if things don\'t take off with someone new, then maybe he can smooth things out with you. He thinks it would be super romantic to come and tell you, \"Wow, I went and hooked up with 6 other women, and I realized that none of them compared to you. And, knowing that you never gave up on me, I feel like such a fool...so, please take me back.\" What he doesn\'t realize, though, is that even if he were to do this, say six months to a year from now...and even if you did hold onto those feelings and take him back...it would never be remotely close to the same. There\'s another version of your oceans and puddles quote that I really like, \"Don\'t make someone a priority if they treat you like an option.\" If he calls and offers another date night, have the lamest excuse you can possibly come up with...\"Oh, a movie? That sounds lovely, but I have to mend a few socks.\"
Thank you everyone for the comments. LFC....thanks for helping me think in a different direction.