Done
Saw ex on purpose yesterday. Asked him to come by to get remainder of this things and his mail, and asked that he forward his mail to his new address and change the relationship status on Facebook. Was very hard.... I swear my BP was up hours before he arrived so I knew it would be.
He got his things and in a way I believe he was hurting also and trying to be strong. At one point of us sitting and talking, I noticed again that I gave a little smart-a remark so I now see how I am still holding on to some anger/resentment and I really do not want to be that type of person.
Once he left I sat and cried for a good 30 minutes. My heart was hurting so bad seeing him drive away and knowing the end has come. I feel so desperate.
For a few days prior, I felt so much better by not having contact, but every time back in life for just a few minutes, it is back to square one with such overwhelming feelings for him.
No more contact. I need to move on. I need to become a stronger person and learn from this relationship so that it is not repeated. Forgive so I do not feel anger/resentment. Be happy.
THAT DESPARATE FEELING OF NOT GIVING IN AND CONTACTING HIM IS A VERY IMPORTANT TO GETTING OVER HIM!!!!! <---FEEL IT, DON'T DODGE IT!!!!
He got his things and in a way I believe he was hurting also and trying to be strong. At one point of us sitting and talking, I noticed again that I gave a little smart-a remark so I now see how I am still holding on to some anger/resentment and I really do not want to be that type of person.
Once he left I sat and cried for a good 30 minutes. My heart was hurting so bad seeing him drive away and knowing the end has come. I feel so desperate.
For a few days prior, I felt so much better by not having contact, but every time back in life for just a few minutes, it is back to square one with such overwhelming feelings for him.
No more contact. I need to move on. I need to become a stronger person and learn from this relationship so that it is not repeated. Forgive so I do not feel anger/resentment. Be happy.
THAT DESPARATE FEELING OF NOT GIVING IN AND CONTACTING HIM IS A VERY IMPORTANT TO GETTING OVER HIM!!!!! <---FEEL IT, DON'T DODGE IT!!!!
Replies
Sounds like you handled that very well, and remember it isn\'t back to square one, it is actually a step forward. We need to allow ourselves to feel those feelings and the lessen over time.
Congratulations. You did very well. You are absolutely right \"No more contact. I need to move on. I need to become a stronger person and learn from this relationship so that it is not repeated.\" I just made that mistake myself with horrible consequences to my recovery, so kudos to you for bouncing back from contact and steeling yourself to move forward. You are an inspiration!
It sounds like you did great! I have had to have a lot more contact with stbx over the last few days than the prior couple of weeks because I am moving soon and we need to start dividing up the \"stuff\" and determining who gets what. I did NOT want this additional contact, but have kept it mostly to email so far. I am doing OK with it so far also.
You wrote: \"I now see how I am still holding on to some anger/resentment and I really do not want to be that type of person\". For right now, let yourself be that type of person!! It is normal, natural, and probably a proper healing emotion. As long as you can eventually let go of that anger (going to be a challenge for me), it is not a problem. Don\'t berate yourself for it, anyway.