Life sucks
I received a text that he is thinking about me a lot lately. This is the first time I managed to not get my hopes up because that is such a broad statement. I am not going to start over again and again and again just keep getting my heart broken. I did not respond back to him. Then I will sound desperate somehow, which will somehow inflate his ego, and then he will somehow burst my bubble.
Just found out I have skin cancer (Squamous Cell Carcinoma) on my lip and having surgery next week. Then will be out from work 1-2 weeks, with too much time to think.
My priority has to be ME!! I am the only person who will worry and care for me and I need to accept that.
This is too damn hard. And it really sucks thinking I am not loved.
Just found out I have skin cancer (Squamous Cell Carcinoma) on my lip and having surgery next week. Then will be out from work 1-2 weeks, with too much time to think.
My priority has to be ME!! I am the only person who will worry and care for me and I need to accept that.
This is too damn hard. And it really sucks thinking I am not loved.
Replies
You are not alone, and I applaud your strength in not replying to the text. I\'m working on that myself, and I also started over twice with her, and got hurt badly both times. Never again.
Coincidentally, I also just found out I have Squamous Cell Carcinoma on my chin. The doctor says it can be removed and is not an aggressive cancer, so it is highly unlikely to spread, as opposed to melanoma.
Yes, this really does suck, but we know we will get through it eventually. I wish the healing was faster for us. Those boundaries are very important to protect us while we heal and not get set back again and again. You are doing a good job with that. I am still learning.
I hope your surgery goes well. Hugs and prayers.
Great job in not responding!
Life does suck. But it\'s also great. Just not at the same time. There are great times in your future.
Best wishes to you (and you LostNFound3) on your surgery, and a full and speedy recovery.
It may be that your ex/stbx does not love you, but other family and friends do. And there are a lot of people out there with the capacity to love you too. Eventually you\'ll find one of them.
Squamous does spread. Was on my lip for a few years but was just a dry patch. It just recently started growing and spread to 2 other spots. I am sure all will be fine (with both of us..... and very grateful not melanoma) but more sad knowing I have no one to depend on to help me for a change.
I am still learning also. He wants to meet with me tomorrow. It seems the no contact rule is getting to him. Another set back but I want to see how things go tomorrow after not seeing him for a few weeks. I have been advised against it but I have to know anyhow. We are apart but never official that we are broken up for good and I need that to be official for some reason. I know I am messing up.
steppingovertheedge.... you give us hope, especially excepting help from friends or having someone to talk to. I have to say it is hard imagining someone loving me. Once I am laid up I am going to start reading all of the Christian Self Help Books about Boundaries. They really clicked for some reason and I believe they will be a huge help.
Thank you both for the feedback. LostNFound, please keep me posted on your surgery. Will you be doing the bohr surgery?
I\'m not sure what kind of surgery it will be. They didn\'t seem to think it was urgent, and scheduled it for July. Said it was very slow growing. They also want to do some kind of full body examination when I come in.
I agree with savvyscrapper, steppingovertheedge. Thank you for the hope.