There's been so much happening in my life.  Unfortunately none of it has been good & it's just been 1 thing after another nonstop. I'm just so exhausted physically & mentally.  I can't do it anymore,  I have nobody I can talk to. My "friends" even say crap when I try to talk about anything going on especially if it's my boys. I had 1 who is now married with kids,  her oldest is not from her husband. His father is still somewhat in the picture, he comes & gets his kid not every time he is suppose to but he still gets him, her husband is there all the time. Yeah her son & husband don't always get along but he's still there, my boys haven't seen their dad in 10 years except for a few hours in 2011 & a few hours in 2014.  When we were talking about my boys the one day she comes back with "I know they say a father is important in a boys life & theirs isn't around but neither is my kids dad bur look at him. He's not running around doing all these things.  I don't know what happened to your kids"
I'm not going to make excuses for my kids but her ex boyfriend didn't try to kill her in front of her kid when he was little, stop showing up for visitation then 8 - 9 years later drag them through a year & half of pyre hell in court just to show up a few times, long enough to mess up everything & leaving me to clean it up.  Now I have my own family saying crap. I'm just done.  It's sad that I have only 1 friend  & strangers that I can confide in & no there's no judgement.