ugh i'm at the point where i'm annoyed by the little things. I just don't know anymore, I have no motivation for anything just getting out of bed is a chore. if I could stay in bed all day I would. I haven't been this bad in years. I know if I killed myself it would only hurt my kids and I won't do anything to hurt them but lately I've been thinking...... I don't feel that they would even care or notice if I wasn't around. my oldest would but I don't think the other 2 would. this sucks and I hate felling this way. o well just gonna lay here think and cry myself to sleep again
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I totally know what this feels like. Before I had kids I always thought if things were too bad for too many years then I could just commit suicide. On my worst days my depression tries to make me believe that it would be okay, everyone would get over it but the truth is they don\'t, especially not your kids, even when it seems they take you for granted and haven\'t noticed you for years, they would feel it more than you could possibly imagine. I know this because one of my oldest friends, who was like a sibling, died nearly two years ago and she had just given up a long time before it seemed. I have blamed myself ever since. That\'s what suicide does. I was thinking about it last night and I thought do I want to give my son what I have? Do I want to give him this pain or worse?The answer is no. Please try to not believe in the depression. It will lie to you and try to convince you of all kind of horrible things. It does to me everyday. You are loved. You will get well. Thinking of you.