poem

You can go now.
 
I took my sweet time with saying that but I see the door now and it really isn't that far away.
Nearly within reach with just the getting up and walking to it
 
the door that says you are not for me, and we were wrong I was wrong
 
so very wrong about everything that made me happy
 
You see I thought that none of the good stuff in life
 
the life blood that makes one happy
 
the things that people get joy from
 
none of that had my name on it and still, now
I know that it is too late for some of it.
 
But one thing I know is that
 
there is joy, joy eternal
 
but first, I have to open this door for you.
 
I want you to go now.
 
Go and don't even remember me
 
I can live without the memory of you
 
the way you ate your way through my belly
until you'd devoured what I had
what I wanted
what I saved
 
and at half a century I find myself starting over a like a child.
 
Some shame, yes
but most of all.
 
Relief.