Things just keep changing in my family.  My wife's bf is in jail for some kind of drug charge.  She is done with him and is now filled with grief for what she has done to our kids and I guess to me as well.  She has been texting me and came over because she wanted to talk with me.  The amazing thing to me is that I no longer want her back.  Me, the same man who would have done anything to get her back even one month ago, who prayed each day for her to come to her senses, and now I am sure that there is no way that we will reunite.  I have grown and changed.  Part of it, of course, is that I am still hurt and angry over what she did to me and what she put me through.  That was unconscionable and I can't forgive that easily.  She chose a drug addict over me and her children.  No amount of talking to her by anyone made any difference.  She basically went crazy for six months.  The wreckage she caused with her kids will be there for a long time.  My daughter doesn't trust her yet and my son is very quiet on the issue.  She feels a lot of remorse.  She asked me if I was seeing someone and I just paused for a long moment. I felt no need to answer her and wanted her to feel some of that pain that she caused me.  I don't feel like I am getting revenge on her, in fact, I feel sorry for her, but I am not foolish enough to let her hurt me again.  What I am sure about is that we are not compatible anymore.  She doesn't like me and to tell the truth I don't respect or like her.  She is pretty and she is needy, two things that I respond to, but she will have to go somewhere else.  She likes to spend money freely; I prefer to find a bargain.  She likes loads of people all the time; I prefer a few close friends.  These are not things that are good or bad, just differences.  She was jealous of how much I loved my job and she has nothing like that is her life.  While she was raising the kids she was busy but since they are leaving she has no idea of what to do with her time.  We will get divorced. Hopefully things will be cordial and we will be able to interact as needed for our kids.  She will get a big pile of cash from the sale of our home and I will pay her alimony for however long is fair.  I don't begrudge her that.  I feel good about being me and having the kind of life that I want to live and I hope that she can find the same, just not near me please.