dear yellow  guy and friendds ,i am sorry i have not wrote in so long ,besides  the normal  mess with kids  i will try to write about  later ,i am doing so good for a change !!!!!!!!!!a few  waves then i jump out of bed and push them  aside and  o i know the day will come i will crash  as i now pretend  it is  all a dream ,i am me i have no  ugly  vile  thing  in me  ,i take the meds  every day morn and night  but  fast  and ,o i am happy  it is nice to feel like a person ,to be able to argue  with my husband  and him  not act  like  i am  going to  flip out ,and argue  back insted  of walking away afraid  of  upsetting  me!!!its nice to  be able to  be  able to  set down and  him not say  50 hundred times  honey you ok ???    in other words  i am not being  smothering  at present  either -mmmmmmmm  -o i know hwe worries and  needs to but  it is  still so good and i am  so happy at  being  me this is  as it should be