dear friends ,wanted to come on here and say thanks  to you all for  being  here for me as you all have beem ,wow its over welmelming to tell he truth when i think of it this  morn .things are going  better for me ,and so many times when i have  felt so lonely and still  do i can  come  on here and there will be a hug  or a i care " a note  from  someone  who  should have  really thought i was  just a  self  centered  person  -and i swear   i am  not when  my brain works -i just have never  faced anything  like  this e ,it it so wild .but back to the truth you all while i am brave enuff to write my thanks for helping me so much ,some days i had no one ,i come from a large faimly and they are afraid of me ,its ok i use to tease i would touch them one day and say "heal"and lord wouldnt they  run  then ---smile ....but honest i have or tho it hurts  still i am learning as i cant  be  mad we were  raised in this  ignorant way  and and god help me i almost did my children the  same way  but for e  turning  my world upside  down ,they would have run  from  people   as  me and been  afraid -my step daughter does  with  my 2 grand babies, maybe later- she   is  afraid  to  scare them .i am wanting to get back and say  again you  all are  to me  more important than faimly ,you  have  been the glue that has  and will  hold me together and i thank you as this new med .seems to be the answer .               i sleep at night still ,i get up still to go to the restroom -normal for me -but i can  go back to  sleep ---------no wirlwind thoughts ,,,,no laying there  for hours knowing what  will happen  when  you doze off in the morn .o wow its been almost a MONTH since i had a large sz .no way not even one ....can you all believe it ???????o god please i hope this is it ....i still have  partials i feel the waves i have  had to lay around  twice all day ,as  the sensatoins were there ,and halloween was not cool ,but i am  too learning to do as one of you told me ,listen to my husband to ,learn my warnings .i dont know what will occur as he reduces the zonegram and  i go back to work full time also next week the same day -been on medical  leave -i am scared -i think he is a little nutty to  say its  o.k. i know i best  hook up a ride for awhile till i know as i know  when  coming off  one you can run into problems . take care  friends  hope all is well, shawna