meds

Its been just over a month sense disk surgery and almost 2 weeks back at work. Saw the doctor yesterday she could not really explain to my understanding why my leg and foot are still not right. Their answer always seems to be more meds and more money. Now I am always on pain killers when off from work. Such a relief physically. So why the surgery? Its not so clear to me. Forgive me I use them to not only escape pain but to escape living and memories. Life is being drained away by the contents of little bottles with child proof caps. Just the pain killers enough no,  also a witches brew of other meds with all their not so nice side effects. I tell myself I will throw them all out. Dare I throw them all out? I have tried more drastic measures in the past.