4pm Back at work. Day started out ok, but am droping fast. Hands shakeing, vision blurs, terrible pain, heart racing. How is it that my own journal entry from yesterday were so much brighter. When i get like this i think life is not worth living. Please dont worry friends I dont have the guts to do anything about it. When it is time to go I want to be at the top, not in this pit. The only good that seems come out from this nightmare is i do so much more value the good days.