Things are tough. I know what will happen if I give up: I've done it before, more than once. I've given up more than once when things have been tough. I don't know what it looks like when I don't give up. Do I lose my sanity? Do I die? Do I scream at people and kill myself? Or do I explode? This latter being the most likely possibility; it's what I feel like might -literally- happen most of the time. I don't know.... I think I'm willing to find out.