34 months-Venting Part 2-Answered My Own Question
Ok, here I am after an extremely painful journal entry this morning, asking "what's wrong with me?" and by afternoon I have answered my own question. "Duh", as the young people say.
The whole problem is that I have this pre-set time limit for grief that I am apparently unconsiously still trying to follow. At almost 3 years, I have decided that I should be past the intense pain, the sadness, etc. and have "moved on". Probably this time limit has to do with the fact that I come from a family filled with "strong, silent" types, who would say that I'm "just feeling sorry for myself", which is a bad thing to their way of thinking. On the other hand, I am an emotional person who tends to let it all out.
How many times have I said in postings on this very site that there is no fast-forwarding grief, that it takes as long as it takes! Maybe I need to follow my own advice. So, Laura, don't try to rush this; feel what you feel, realize that this is going to take as long as it takes!
I feel a little better now.
The whole problem is that I have this pre-set time limit for grief that I am apparently unconsiously still trying to follow. At almost 3 years, I have decided that I should be past the intense pain, the sadness, etc. and have "moved on". Probably this time limit has to do with the fact that I come from a family filled with "strong, silent" types, who would say that I'm "just feeling sorry for myself", which is a bad thing to their way of thinking. On the other hand, I am an emotional person who tends to let it all out.
How many times have I said in postings on this very site that there is no fast-forwarding grief, that it takes as long as it takes! Maybe I need to follow my own advice. So, Laura, don't try to rush this; feel what you feel, realize that this is going to take as long as it takes!
I feel a little better now.
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