Thursday

I feel like a huge bundle of nerves.  J is feeling really bad.  He's going for a back x-ray today.  Hoping that will show something.  
I am really not looking forward to being off work so many days.  My mind goes to bad, dark, fearful places when I have too much time on my hands.  Especially when I am worried about J. 
I am employing EVERY tactic and tool that I have learned to stay calm and collected.  It is working so far.  But it's still like I'm waiting for the impending disaster.  I am so proud of myself for doing as well as I am/have.  It has not been easy, but I so want it to be worthwhile.