Update

Lots of driving today, it is a good thing I enjoy driving. Once I got home my son drove me into Blanco to pick up my truck. I thought the problem was my caliper breaks, it wasn't, it was the "upper control arm" that was loose; that's the part that holds the wheel assembly on to the frame! When they fixed that, they found that my alignment shims had fallen out due to the looseness, and while fiddling with that they found that my steering ball joints (only on that side) were loose too. Fortunately I know these people, I was their son's soccer coach for three years and I not only trust them, they actually took the time to show me everything. (Not to mention that I'm a very adept mechanic myself.) So when we were driving to town my son said that the rear end of his car felt 'funny' going through a turn. So when we got to the place that was fixing my truck, I noticed his back left tire was low again, for the umpteenth time, so I got that fixed for him (two small nails). THEN, as I was just about home, while driving my truck, my wife calls to tell me that my car, that I drove to Kerrville this morning, has a flat. The same back left tire as my son. So I aired it up and drove IT back into town to get that flat fixed (one nail), and get an over-due oil change done to top it off. The meeting with my therapist went well. I have met the enemy and it is ME! At least it's that voice in my head, the one that has four voices in it: The voice of self-judgment, the voice of self-importance, the voice of self-pity, and the voice of fear. The same ones everybody else has, they're all cousins. We're taught to listen to them when we're about three. Up until them we think we're the greatest little happy beings on the planet. That's when we learn how to be unhappy and beat ourselves up by listening to that voice. Mine's pretty persuasive, sneaky. Manipulative. It's sole purpose is to make life hell for me. It has an amazing list of limitations and conditions in order to keep me from being happy. I'm letting it do that; fortunately the only power it has, as a parasite, is the attention and power I give it. I'm learning that instead of being at war with it, since that gives it attention and food, that I will feel better if I assimilate it as part of who I am. As long as I battle it, it is the opposite pole, and if I stop fighting it and absorb it, the mood swings for power will cease. I know where it comes from, but I was innocent when it was given to me, and that I am responsible for it's existence now. I am the one creating that voice. I'm feeling it's about time to stop doing that so automatically. I learning tha voice is inside creating fear, not outside. And I'm responsible for keeping it alive, by listening to it's negativity. Now I hug it when I hear it. I give it love. Love melts it.  Anyone else have that problem? 

Replies

deleted_user
deleted_user

I\'m sure I do, all though I\'m not as adept at recognizing it as you are. I am glad you got all your cars fixed. It is good to have a mechanic you can trust.
mgs1
mgs1

making friends with your \"boo voice\" ..... interesting.