Thanks

I did answer ya'lls comments on the previous entry and now I'll continue; I felt exhausted today and could not stay out of bed, until 2:30 pm. I had breakfast and lunch, and watched my recording of "So You Think You Can Dance" from last night; then I layed back down. Now I'm feeling better. Tonight the family and I go into San Antonio to see "The Man of La Mancha" at the san Pedro Playhouse; it's a live stage show, and I'm looking forward to getting out.

But I can't remember if I told you about what happened yesterday: I took my blood pressure and it was 141 over 71, and my heart rate was 93 beats per minute. That's not so fantastic compared to my normal rate which is 120/80 at 60, it's WHEN it happened! At 4:42 a.m. when I was fast asleep. It woke me up, with a dry mouth. To my recollection I was not having any nightmares or any REM sleep. I phoned in the symptoms to my doctor this morning just in case it was significant to him, it surely seemed significant to me! We'll see what happens.

During this 'meditative' down time this morning I had a query come to me: What if I'm not depressed? What if I'm BORED! What if my crazy litle mind is so busy and detailed that it needs stimulation to be enthusiastic? Too much stimulation, from outside, causes anxiety issues; too little stimulation,from the inside, also causes anxiety. What makes it such an interesting question is that it relates to my detailed obsession/compulsion for happiness. I like to delve deeply into things and if they're too shallow or too easy to figure out the principles of operation, I get bored; I lose interest. (Maybe that's why I prefer some women; they're very complex, many attached details and ideas to talk about.) Maybe I don't have anything truely interesting to work on; even as an occupation. That's what has me interested in phychology, a new field to learn new things.

In answer to MGS1's question about future clients who don't want details, that's fine. I'll either learn to kep the details to myself as I treat them, or refer them to someone else. If I can't help them with my style then I'll get them help somewhere else. Being a therapist doesn't mean I'm FORCED to help anybody and everybody. I don't become someone's slave because they ask help, that would be....well...co-dependent! I actually have a choice in the matter. besides, I figure there are plenty of the other kind to take care of them until I learn how to do it better, if I even need to.

That's it for now.