Monday

As I try to feel more, and it's not that easy to break the old habits, I happened on this feeling: "I" am the one who left me! I abandoned me. I was taught, somehow (no blame), that My needs and feelings didn't matter.  I wasn't worth it.  I became ashamed of myself. So my identity split in two! That's what may be causing the stress. It may be what's causing me to not feel whole. I could no longer trust myself to protect myself. I failed to set boundaries to protect myself. I failed to value myself. I will change that habit so that I will value my true self, whatever it is, and make myself whole again.   Good entries in todays Discussion Group, especially the one about asking "Why?". That's what I've been doing with my analysis all this time and it feels like it hasn't made one bit of difference. That's probably the reason I kept on searching and trying to get help. Reading the books and finding out "What" I've been doing seems to be making a difference. I'm trying to stop thinking and just "BE". I have hope it's one of the changes that will help me succeed whenever I can remember to apply it. Still making progress...no miracles, just hard work,  Rich